For those of you new to this white stuff

Londoners and Americans in Montreal, I give you THIS.

P-p-p-p-pokerface.

Apparently I have a thing for this type of performance. I'm not ashamed of it.

It's probably a good thing the iPhone wasn't invented...

when Amelie came out.

Oh, Nigella.

So for those of you who don't know, Nigella Lawson is a celebri-chef here in the UK. Her shows can mostly be classified as gastro-porn, with the emphasis on the porn. So when I found this video, I was slightly horrified. Highlights include her assertion that she just can't be satisfied with gingerbread and needs some Christmas cake to fill that void (I may be paraphrasing here, but the effect is really in the delivery). But I think my favourite part starts at about 5:30, when she asks (herself? the audience? the voices in her head?) if we can hear the choirs of angels, and the super-creepy background music makes it feel as though we're being invited to Christmas at Hannibal Lecter's house. But maybe I'm being a bit too harsh (it is Christmas after all!), or maybe the perpetual darkness in this country has finally driven me round the twist, so judge for yourselves:

Maybe it's just me

But this had me rolling on the floor, especially by the end. Oh man.

You've got to be kidding me.

There had better be some left when I get back, London. That's all I'm saying.

Christmas Special

Here is an old movie trailer that really put me in the festive spirit. I don't think I can introduce it any better than the Guardian does, so here is what Oliver Thring has to say about it:

"Finally, this gem from 1945: the trailer for Christmas in Connecticut, a film about a food writer and a sailor coming together, as it were, at Christmas. Everything throbs with tumescent sexuality. Barbara Stanwyck breathily rasps: "Who said there isn't any Santa Claus?" She winks and makes a blood-curdling clicking sound, before ejaculating, "Look what I found in my stocking!"

A caption later informs us the hero is "Teaching her all about men - the Navy way!" Lord help her. Other guests laugh as though someone is pointing a gun at them and telling them to. "

And so, without further ado, the thing itself:

New favourite blog

I may say this every time I find a new blog, but this one's for realz, you guys.

Oooooohhhh Aaaaaahhhhh

Or: Reasons to bring your camera with you EVERYWHERE.

Eric

Click through to read a lovely little story.

Tache Attack

Thanks for bringing this into my life, Times of London

Brain-tastic

This is pretty neat!!

The motherland

Red Girl, 1987. By Boris Savelev.

More amazing pictures of Mother Russia in this gallery.

New favourite country

Did this actually happen in real life? It sounds like a bad movie.

Blog tie-in!

Yay Mrs. Beeton! Actually, I'm not sure how I feel about there being a movie, I'll have to watch it and get back to you. But you can read all about her and me and my recipe here! (If you haven't already...)

Hold up.

Did somebody say deco?

(Also weird side note, my mum's last name is Heathcote? Any relation? I don't think there are too many of them out there...)

Aw yeah.

I love these because they all seem so deco! And I love deco!

A cute way of talking

So I spent the weekend in Edinburgh, which brings me directly to today's post:

Panic Attack!

This is a really cool vid, and too wide for this blog. Also it's really good quality on youtube, so why not just go there and watch it?

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers

Man, I love alliteration.

Life update

So I haven't posted in a few days. I've been pretty busy with events and school and stuff. I got a picture of my brain:

I almostbutnotquitebutmaybe saw the queen when I went to the Remembrance Sunday service at the Cenotaph, I saw the best fireworks of my life at Victoria Park for Bonfire Night, and I saw the sea at Brighton.

And then today I basically recreated this classic Tim Hortons ad when I got a care package from my mum, and I could literally smell the maple before I even opened it. Here are the contents of said package:

Mmmmmmmmaple.

So now I'm getting ready to go to Edinburgh and fighting off my nine-millionth cold since I got here. But I will still do my best to keep up the awesome!

Yet another Guardian gallery

Is it weird and pathetic that I will be saving up my pennies and using the coupons I have to collect all nine parts of this series?

So simple, so obvious, so hypnotic.

Question mark?

Holy Crap!

A real-life never-nude!!!!!!

From peopleofwalmart.com.

Hi Mom!

Creeping

So I guess I'm a bit of a creeper. This creep-need manifests itself in different ways, but one of these is satisfied by two features in The Guardian: Snooping Around and Trading Up, Trading Down. I lovelovelove looking at these houses that I could potentially one day buy. My favourites are (of course) the castles (although it kind of makes me really sad when they split a castle up in to apartments and I think my life mission when I'm a millionaire is to buy up all these castles so they don't get ruined that way) and the little cottages/farmhouses, especially when they have thatched roofs.

I just need some way to make enough money to buy all the houses I want, because collecting houses is significantly more expensive than collecting other things, like books, pogs, cameras, pokemon cards... (all of which I have collected at one time or another in my life).

Left vs. Right

This latest discovery brings the count up to 6-2 for right feet. What's that you say? You'd like an interactive map to help you visualize where all these disembodied feet have shown up? Well here you go, including the hoax one from last summer.

JUST WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE.

This story kind of repulses me (they are rotting, body-less feet, after all), but I love how it just keeps going and going and going...  And the fact that the first four or five were all right feet. Are right feet really that much more detachable than left? Do aquatic carnivores prefer left feet to right?

There are just so many questions. Are they all from a single incident and are just taking their time in floating ashore? Is there some sort of weird anti-foot serial killer in BC? When are they going to make a Law and Order episode out of it?

But really, I think we need Nancy Drew on the case, this sounds right up her alley.

Photos

I really like photography, especially portraits, mainly because I can't take good pictures of people and am trying to learn the secret. Here is my latest find.

P.S. I'm starting to really suck at updating this blog. Oh well.

The most adorable thing I've ever seen.

From The Rick Mercer Report and the CBC

Coo Loo-coo-coo Coo-coo-coo-coo

That's right it's time for the daily (except for yesterday) blast of canadiana that has become this blog. Today: Bob and Doug McKenzie, of Great White North fame. I'll let you do your own research on this dastardly duo (ok, maybe they're not so dastardly...), but suffice it to say that this clip comes from their Great White North album (as opposed to the sketch on SCTV) and depicts a fun drinking game to play (but maybe not with your brother). The screen is black because it's an album, not a tv clip...

Jingle Jingle

So I'm the first person to rag on retailers and advertisers for starting their Christmas stuff way early. (I swear to God I saw Christmas things available here in AUGUST. Unacceptable.) BUT. I just couldn't resist posting this vid now and you can listen to it every day until Christmas. All together now... "Jingle, Jingle...."




From underdoganimations

Pulp Wave Fiction

So what use is Google Wave? What can it do that you can't already do in g-mail? This!




From copyrighthater. Click through to see the whole screen (damn widescreen videos! damn lack of html knowledge on my part!)

I speak Joual, not Hanglish.

c.f.:



which was a commercial for Molson Canadian some years back. Unfortunately, since being bought by Coors (an American company), Molson's slogan is no longer "I am Canadian". Because it's not, really. Sad, sad times, as the Molson commercials were always the best.

P.S. Apparently I'm feeling super Canadian these days...

JPII > Benny 1-6

For realz.

True saying.

Stan Rogers really does haunt the Canadian psyche (which is the point of today's post!). If you say to a Canadian "It's been six years since I sailed away" they will automatically reply "And I just made Halifax yesterday". He died like six years before I was born and yet I know like every single lyric to every single song he ever wrote or sang. In fact, I just happened to be listening to Fisherman's Wharf (that's not Stan Rogers singing, but you get the idea of the song) when I read this comic. He has so many classics that I don't even know where to start, but Northwest Passage, Wreck of the Athens Queen and Barrett's Privateers should give you a pretty good idea of what he was about.

I mean aboot.

You should also try Giant, Bluenose and Fogarty's Cove.

Ok I'll stop now.


I promise.

Dear Future Blog Readers:

From xkcd.com

(Click through and hover to get the joke).

Yes!

I saw this today and it completely made my day. So learn history like a real Canadian! Watch Heritage Minutes!!

P.S. Hark! A Vagrant is my new favourite site.

The George

George Glooney?

omfg.

The rapture!

There are literally too many good quotes in this one for me to even attempt to start listing some, so you're just going to have to sit through the next five minutes of gold unprepared.



Ok, I can't help myself: "The twinkling of an eye! How long is that?!" "The General Electric has measured the twinkling.... eleven one hundredths of a second!"

The Complete Guide to the Future from Everything Is Terrible on Vimeo.

Baby vs. Sleep

I love the kid's brother, who is completely ignoring the baby's plight.

Creme that Egg!

So the advertising gimmick for Cadbury's Creme Eggs here is "Creme that egg!" which involves smashing a creme egg in creative and entertaining ways. Personally, I prefer the bok-boking rabbits, but maybe that's just me. They recently ran a competition for fans to create a Rube Goldberg machine for smashing eggs and, although this guy didn't win, I would give him five out of five for effort.

No post today

Because I was too busy FUCKING STANDING NEXT TO GEORGE CLOONEY. (Close-up) pictures and his autograph to follow when I get my phone back...

Facebook Find

Fun fact! (Other than the fact that I'm a big fan of fantastic and flowery falliteration.) A lot of my finds actually come from things my friends post on Facebook. Like this one. So here's a little shout-out to Sharon. If you ever read this, thanks Sharon!

From disapprovingrabbits.com

OooooEEEEEEEoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO

Another theme song rendition, this time of Dr. Who. Why, might you ask? Well, here's why:

Click through to see more pictures of this house. Where people actually live. Surrounded by Dr. Who memorabilia. Or maybe this is actually his house? In which case, alert the timelord, the daleks have penetrated the perimeter!

(And yes, I am a huge nerd.)

From lovelylisting.com

Happy Thanksgiving!

So my American peeps threw me a nice Canadian Thanksgiving dinner on Friday - we had Quorn bangers and mash and apple pie, but sadly nothing maple flavoured. I'm missing home and my family and friends this weekend (and the extra day off), but this video made it a little better. Up to about 1:40 it's just like Thanksgiving at home (uh, more or less), but then it gets a little weird. I'm still trying to decide what to do for Thanksgiving dinner on my own tonight (turkey seems not-very-available at this time of year, and probably a little much for me to eat on my own), so suggestions are more than welcome! I may even go out and splurge on a bottle of Canadian maple syrup (at approximately $100/l.) but I guess I'll have to find some first....



From CrappyHolidays. (click through to see it in HD)

Seisure

From threadbombing.com

Doo-da-doo doo Di doo, doo.

Yes, yes that was the Harry Potter theme. Why? Because:



From HarryPotterFanClub.

Hot Saus

Hypnotic.

Baby Sandwich

So I might have had a little help in coming across this one (thanks E-Liz), but that doesn't make it any less awesome.

From yeah-oops.com.

And contrary to what this blog might lead you to believe, I do not have a weird thing for eating babies, I swear!

My favourite book.

I loved this book when I was a kid. In fact, I still kind of do. A lot. And now the circle of life is complete, because you can eat the very hungry caterpillar yourself. It's called the circle of life, kids.

From epicute.com (which I'm clearly reading too much of these days).

Whether you be conservative or ecclesiastic

Take your canvas bags.



By Tim Minchin

Because I'm in a Guelph sort of mood.

Extra! Extra! Harper not evil! Read all about it!

Ok so I'm pretty anti-Conservative. Stephen Harper creeps the fuck out of me usually, with his weird helmet hair and ice-chip eyes. I think the only time previous to this that I've seen him smiling is when he's been slagging off the Liberals or the Bloc. I think he has zero sense of humour and is a lot more like Stalin than most Canadians would like in their Prime Minister.

However, having said all that, I have to give him props for this.



"I get high with a little help from my friends"... classic!

The living is easy

So this weekend, my summer is finally coming to an end. That's right, my classes are finally starting. And upon reflection, I'd have to say that summer 2009 was probably one of the best summers of my life. A month in France, a month in London, chilling with friends in Guelph, a trip to Montreal and James and Elizabeth in Toronto. I filled my days with flowers and vegetables, insects, shrews and other garden friends. It started with the scent of apple blossom and lilies-of-the-valley, continued through chlorine and rosebuds and ended up with aged wine barrels and the stench of the big city. Not to mention that this summer vacation was 5 months long - the longest break I've had since I started day care at like 18 months old.

Now I grew up in a little city in south western Ontario. Guelph is known for three things: the vet school, the hippy culture and the Hillside Festival. For three days every summer, we all don our Birkenstocks and dig out our tents, ready to wander around the island in Guelph Lake and take in one of the best small festivals in the world. It's the social event of the calendar, and you run in to just about everyone you've ever known. There is lots of good music, good food and weird and wonderful workshops (sew your own menstrual pads anyone? traditional native fire building? preserving wild edible plants?) and occasionally you get one of those "Hillside moments", that will really stay with you forever. They're one part social and environmental activism, one part solid community feel, one part sticking it to the man and a good dash of the cloud of marijuana smoke that hovers over the island. Hillside 09 was a rain-stravaganza. By the end of the weekend, it was physically impossible to wear shoes on the island because they would get sucked off in the mud that went half-way up to your knees. It was more Glastonbury than Guelph, but it all contributed to that dirty hippy feel we all love so much.

Anyway, one of the last acts on the last night was Final Fantasy. He went on about 9 o'clock on Sunday night at the main stage in the middle of the huge thunderstorm that had been hovering over us all weekend. Lightning and thunder were seconds apart as he went on and started to play. Most people had gone to covered areas of the island, or had just gone home, leaving maybe a hundred die-hard Hillsiders crowding in front of the stage, cowering under tarps or umbrellas, or trying to squeeze under the (living) roof that covers the main stage.

Then he started to play.



(Click through for a much better quality video)

You can see the stage manager come on a couple of times, demanding that the power be turned off to the stage. You can't, however, hear the constant thunderclaps, prompting random cheers from the audience. Him screaming "One more minute!!" then the lyrics "I'm never gonna give in to you" over and over again could not have made a better ending to Hillside if Owen had asked God himself to do it right. And the moment at the end, when Leah and I were huddled under a tarp some stranger had lent us and praying the island wouldn't get hit by lightning (again) because of all the water everywhere, when the stage lights went off and Owen was still playing, pretty much made my summer. And maybe my life.

A google for the lyrics of "Lewis takes off his shirt" (the song he's playing), brings no answers, but approximately 1 000 000 versions of this performance.

Even Google accepts how perfect it was.

Geography Class

I recently came across this new world view on the BBC. Something like 85% of the population of Canada lives within 500 km of the American border and the North is VERY sparsely populated. Also, Canada has one of the lowest population densities in the world (3.5 people per square kilometer according to Wikipedia). So all this combines to make the population-driven map of Canada really interesting, and a little bit gross to look at.

But I guess we all kind of knew that Toronto is really just a big tumour on the rest of Canada.

I'll see what I can do.

Probably one of my favourite songs ever is this one here. When I was little my sister used to listen to it and when she conferred her mix CD collection upon me when I was about 8, I immediately latched on to this song as my favourite. It makes me want to dance and I can't help but sing along when I hear it. Or think about it.

Of course, being Canadian, William Shatner has always been a large part of my life as well, from watching Star Trek as a kid, to those All Bran ads. And I spent most of last year napping in the Shatner building on campus. So obviously I also love this vid. (And if you're in to that, then here's a little bonus for you.)

Which kind of brings me to the point of today's post and that is this little discovery I made recently. So here it is:



Incidentally, I'm unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) not living here this year :(

Catchy

So we don't have Trader Joe's in Canada. Or in the UK. But if we did, I would probably shop there, just because of this song.

From Carl's Fine Films

Ummmmm....

Like if they don't look at you, you can't see them?

Click through the pic for more awkward hiding fails.

From lovelylisting.com

The best thing since that sliced bread

Click through the pic to find the pattern and recipe.

From designspongeonline.com

Ingenious!

Read all about it at epicute.com

Pulmonary Tuberculosis

As with many of these gems, I just have no idea how I came across this one. But this blog is a keeper.

There aren't any pictures associated with it, and there's too much text for me to put it here, so you get a bonus picture today. The picture may or may not be as awesome as the link, but click on it and it will bring you to today's moment of joy.

?

I'm really just not even sure about this one.

Awwwwwww?

From myfirstfail.com

Enthusiasm.

From  asleeponthesubway.tumblr.com

Wholesome Family Fun

I think the best part of this is the look of sheer terror on the dog's face. Like he knows that he's destined to die for our sins.

From awkwardfamilyphotos.com

I will live here.

I'm just sayin', is all.

From sothebyshomes.com via lovelylistings.com

Why?

I guess that's the question a lot of these finds force me to ask myself. Who ever thought this was a good/necessary/appropriate thing to do?

So many people must have approved of this photo (the subjects, the parents, the photographer...). Why?

From awkwardfamilyphotos.com

The lying down game

Has anyone come across this before? I first heard of it here, but I think these are the best examples.

A couple of tasters for you:

(From skywriters.wordpress.com and bangersandmash.wordpress.com)

It's your hamster, Richard.

Just a link today, but, boy, what a link.

From popbitch.com.

Thankfully I didn't have quite such a horrific experience on my 8-hour Air India flight here. This has put me right off Virgin for the rest of my life.

"A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING."

One-sided conversations?

So here are the blogs with my first 3 choices of name, in descending order:

http://onesidedconversations.blogspot.com/
http://onesidedconversation.blogspot.com/
http://one-sided-conversations.blogspot.com/

I'm really confused by that second one. Also, who knew there were so many one-sided conversations happening out there? And that they were all so existential? This blog is nothing so deep, by the way. The name comes from the fact that the Facebook conversations between Elizabeth and I are often just postings of random links, with no comment or considered reply.

And that's just the way we like it.

The meat baby

So cute, yet so...wrong.

From thisiswhyyourefat.com